I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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