Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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