The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize