i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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