since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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