am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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