I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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