So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
