Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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