but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
