there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
