Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
