I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
