I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
