my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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