I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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