oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
