Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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