If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
