Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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