She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
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I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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