That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
