Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
