I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
