Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize