TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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