Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
