Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
