Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
