I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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