You work out of a Hotel?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
