This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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