I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
