I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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