It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
