You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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