apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
