My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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