I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
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Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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