Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
