marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
