I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
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We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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