Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
