its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
