Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
