Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
