just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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