I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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