girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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