also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
