i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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