i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
