i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
