yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
