I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
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It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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