I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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