doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
