another moral hangover. fuck.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
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Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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