Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
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I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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