yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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