If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize