I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
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so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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