I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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