ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
