My sheets look like a crime scene.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sorry about my life...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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