I think my vagina is haunted
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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