Me too!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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